


and here you are, continuing on, despite how hard it’s been

by moonbeanm



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Feels, M/M, Post-Break Up, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:40:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23859937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonbeanm/pseuds/moonbeanm
Summary: The fact that he lost a friend.That realization just goes around his mind and follows every thought he has.
Relationships: Charlie Barnes/Dan Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	and here you are, continuing on, despite how hard it’s been

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KirkGoesToGallifrey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirkGoesToGallifrey/gifts).



Words cannot explain how much it hurts to see someone, he adored and loved for years, go. There are times where he thought apologizing would help or for that matter make any difference in their decision to leave. Blaming himself is not really going to fix anything but at least he can give his mind something to do. Instead of thinking about the fact that he lost a friend.

The fact that he lost a friend.

That realization just goes around his mind and follows every thought he has. It has been a few days since they had this fight, but Dan cannot stop replaying those words. Sure, they hurt as hell, but he is trying to find a reason why all of this went south.

What did he do different then in any other ordinary day? Woke up, had breakfast and coffee, went to studio and attempted to write some songs and then came home. Where all their stuff was in suitcases and keys from the house their shared, were laying on the kitchen island. They waited till he came from studio, to just – honestly, he doesn’t even know why they just didn’t, left while he was out. Maybe it would hurt less.

So past few days were just blur of colors and sounds to him. Nothing seemed right without them around. Trying to come up with something what could potentially sound like a good lyric to a song seemed like the hardest thing ever. And others noticed. Of course, they noticed. They are his best friends for god’s sake. But Dan has no idea how to deal with all those heavy feelings and honestly, he doesn’t want to be like one of those who will run to their friends as soon as someone breaks up with them. That way he suffers alone, and everyone can see that he’s not doing well mentally or physically.

And it goes like this for a while, mates trying to distract him the best they know how, calling him to bar for a beer or just to chill and not think. But he always politely declines with answer that he has things to do - when everyone knows that it’s a blunt lie. Most of the time he goes home, where he can hear his own breath coming out from his mouth. The house is empty, well emptier than before.

He makes himself a black tea, because alcohol isn’t something, he fancies on regular day nor when he’s out of any energy. Doesn’t cry, there are probably no tears left after all crying, he did first few days. Doesn’t call anyone, even when he knows that each one of those contacts in his phone would pick up in a second.

He just stays there standing in the kitchen with black tea and no idea what to do next. Sure, he has career for which many would probably even kill for, but he’s so sad and worn out that he can’t bring himself to care for any of that at the moment. He isn’t expecting any visitors, because is 8PM and he also said everyone that he wanted to be alone. Once again.

But when he opens the front doors and see Charlie there, he might start crying even though he thought he couldn’t anymore.

“Oh, Daniel,” says Charlie, the minute he closes the door and wrap his arms around him.

“Let’s get you all cozied up with blankets and hugs, alright?” Charlie just keeps talking to himself.

Because why the heck not and Dan won’t really admit this to him out loud, but it is calming him better than that forgotten black tea on the kitchen island.

Dan doesn’t need to tell Charlie anything, he knows that. Because at the end he’s the one who came even though he told them not to and because it’s Charlie who will get by just talking to himself. So, Dan lets him fuss over him, tuck him into large blanket, while humming some unknown song and Dan just cries and Charlie is there for him, hugging and whispering all those “it will be okay’s” till he’s just snuffling mess on his sofa with Charlie hugging him.

They stay like this for a quiet while because Dan apparently took nap on Charlie and when he gets back to himself it’s a few hours later and Charlie is sound asleep on his sofa. That one blanket somehow ended up on the ground and Charlie is just hugging one of the pillows from said sofa. So, Dan just gently wake him up and tells him to follow him to bed and Charlie just goes without any hesitation. And when they both snuggled in bed in comfy hoodies (because it’s just cold, okay?) the whole world fast asleep - no one needs to know that Dan just really needed someone beside him again, just for a little bit. While his heart will patch all the rips and holes, what were left, and Dan knows it’s alright to feel that way. Not because Charlie told him this at least thousand times today, while he cried his heart out once again, but because things like this happens and if you have people around you, who will stay even after things like that, you will be just fine. 


End file.
